I think we can all agree that bullies have been around for years and years. Only recently has our culture started talking about the subject. Today I’m sharing some tools and tips that I learned from Sally Ogden, a Love & Logic facilitator. She suggests that you share these with your kids. This is intended for VERBAL bullying.
1. Change how you think about the bully. Remember….“It’s about the other person!” The bully isn’t picking on you because there’s something wrong with you- there’s something wrong with him/her!
2. Change how you respond to the bully. If someone says something nasty, evil, or critical to you here’s the best thing to do!
Agree & Add on! Here are some phrases that work:
Sometimes I do crazy stuff
Not only that…..
Looks like I have some things to work on
Thanks, I’ll work on that
You can even use some CRAZY phrases too, for instance:
No thanks, I just had a banana!
Bullies LOVE and THRIVE on getting negative responses from their victims! Crying, saying nothing, looking down, being sad- all of these behaviors will encourage the bullying to continue.
These “phrases” stop the bully in their tracks because the “victim” is neutralizing the power of the bully. The “victim” feels good because they have stood up for themselves without being a bully back. More than likely, the bully will move on to someone else that will fall into his/her power play.
*Please note that if the bullying gets past the verbal stage and moves into the physical stage- hitting, kicking, spitting on, etc. a parent, teacher, principal or the police may have to get involved.
Because this is a tool, you will have to teach this to your child and role play with them so they will become comfortable using the phrases- believe me, it doesn’t come naturally!
Unfortunately, bullying will never go away, but at least we have some tools that we can teach our kids to prevent them from becoming a target!
Sue Mackey says
Good info, Jill!